it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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