the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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