yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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