I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
