What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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