we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
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