Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
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