so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
