We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
