I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
