I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
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I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
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