No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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