he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
