You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
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