I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Randomize
