I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
