I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Still dying that you shit outside
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
