Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize