just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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