I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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