So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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