fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
