ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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