You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
