Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I love you. Go after that dick
You peed on a flamingo?!?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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