If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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