these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
