Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
