i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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