how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
