When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
