How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
literally had 100 drinks last night.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
