if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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