4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
