it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
