He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Randomize
