At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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