I hate all girls vehemently.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
