I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
