Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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