Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
