Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
