just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
