Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
