I murdered the dance floor call the cops
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
