He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
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thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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