Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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