butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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