Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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