Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
You have to summon your inner elephant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
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