Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
