I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
