That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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