I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
