you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
