i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
