since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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