They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
