All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
