69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
