so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Randomize
