Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(904): View more from Florida

I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.

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(904): I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom. http://tfl.nu/lxr2

Replies (18) Good night (1490) Bad night (904)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.

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(814): If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already. http://tfl.nu/owi8

Replies (15) Good night (1241) Bad night (2333)
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(303): View more from Colorado

Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years

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(303): Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years http://tfl.nu/kvc8

Replies (6) Good night (743) Bad night (2586)
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(503): View more from Oregon

i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.

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(503): i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean. http://tfl.nu/trho

Replies (19) Good night (7090) Bad night (629)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.

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(860): I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes. http://tfl.nu/jq79

Replies (9) Good night (638) Bad night (3590)
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(847): View more from Illinois

Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.

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(847): Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free. http://tfl.nu/2six

Replies (42) Good night (10057) Bad night (1848)
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(360): View more from Washington

We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.

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(360): We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times. http://tfl.nu/t6mj

Replies (4) Good night (1594) Bad night (2444)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice

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(608): im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice http://tfl.nu/dly6

Replies (15) Good night (3211) Bad night (1440)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Breakfast tacos?

(1-832): View more from Houston, Texas

YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS

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(832): Breakfast tacos? (1-832): YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS http://tfl.nu/haxw

Replies (17) Good night (3043) Bad night (923)
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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.

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(780): I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it. http://tfl.nu/t2hy

Replies (12) Good night (1992) Bad night (749)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.

(603): View more from New Hampshire

Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.

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(603): Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today. (603): Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me. http://tfl.nu/6wu2

Replies (3) Good night (2866) Bad night (742)
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(857): View more from Massachusetts

Sunday is the day of rest.

(857): View more from Massachusetts

As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.

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(857): Sunday is the day of rest. (857): As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest. http://tfl.nu/lma5

Replies (3) Good night (2244) Bad night (640)
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(224): View more from Illinois

Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...

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(224): Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex... http://tfl.nu/9y7e

Replies (6) Good night (796) Bad night (1099)
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(208): View more from Idaho

I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?

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(208): I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know? http://tfl.nu/ulgs

Replies (3) Good night (665) Bad night (381)
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(703): View more from Virginia

I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.

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(703): I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance. http://tfl.nu/khcw

Replies (1) Good night (593) Bad night (349)

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