I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.