I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
