They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
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I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
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I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed