My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif