Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa