Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I'm drunk

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Is that why you're texting me

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Yes

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  (405): I'm drunk (615): Is that why you're texting me (405): Yes http://tfl.nu/5xy8
  Replies (16) Good night (1684) Bad night (678)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!

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  (781): yours is so small it looks like an acorn!! http://tfl.nu/y1ac
  Replies (23) Good night (651) Bad night (4587)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.

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  (740): Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life. http://tfl.nu/k782
  Replies (34) Good night (5550) Bad night (775)
• Favorite

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.

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  (337): Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop. http://tfl.nu/jwrv
  Replies (18) Good night (4741) Bad night (1035)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.

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  (215): its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass. http://tfl.nu/z2s4
  Replies (17) Good night (798) Bad night (5815)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her

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  (954): had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her http://tfl.nu/teql
  Replies (15) Good night (1092) Bad night (5517)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.

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  (605): woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder. http://tfl.nu/fadr
  Replies (7) Good night (3408) Bad night (891)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song

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  (513): I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song http://tfl.nu/4m2s
  Replies (9) Good night (449) Bad night (614)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after

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  (403): His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after http://tfl.nu/sq85
  Replies (5) Good night (312) Bad night (769)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.

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  (801): They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple. http://tfl.nu/xf6o
  Replies (5) Good night (1166) Bad night (396)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.

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  (518): Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus. http://tfl.nu/2yyd
  Replies (1) Good night (782) Bad night (282)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"

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  (989): Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?" http://tfl.nu/ww6f
  Replies (1) Good night (456) Bad night (267)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.

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  (306): I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS. http://tfl.nu/r076
  Replies (3) Good night (612) Bad night (297)
• Favorite

  (231): View more from Michigan

  That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.

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  (231): That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome. http://tfl.nu/ogi2
  Replies (8) Good night (721) Bad night (358)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.

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  (501): When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot. http://tfl.nu/as5j
  Replies (1) Good night (989) Bad night (259)

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