my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that