Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
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