My hand turned me down
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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